Chapter 102

Excerpts from Ye Songming's Diary (Part 1)

I still remember the first time I met Xiang Siling, it was late one summer night. The clinic closed early that day, and my master and I lived in the clinic. He had a bedroom, and I slept in the utility room near the door, which had a 1.2-meter single bed. Sun Zhilan secretly got me a palm-sized thin-necked vase, put a few wild chrysanthemums in it, and placed it on the windowsill. Although half of the utility room was filled with items and equipment, every time I looked up and saw the flowers on the windowsill, and sometimes I could see the moon, I felt that this kind of life was actually not bad.

I was sleeping so soundly that day, and someone knocked on the door, "Knock, knock, knock", which woke me up. I got dressed and got up, and saw Master also wearing a white coat and coming downstairs. "There is an emergency patient," he said to me.

I said "Oh" in a daze. His eyes looked a little strange at that time, as if he hesitated for a moment, but didn't say anything.

I went to open the door and found Master sitting in front of the computer. At that time, our diagnosis and treatment system had just been installed. Master was a little uncomfortable with it, but he also knew that this was the trend, so he just let it go and left everything to me. I ran around for three months and finally built the system and it ran smoothly. I felt quite accomplished.

A very beautiful woman and a girl who looked like a student came in.

After a while, I realized that Xiang Siling was actually very strange when I first met her. She wore a fluffy white gauze dress with short sleeves that only reached her knees. Her long hair looked like it had just been blown, and it was fluffy. Her bangs were pinned with two colorful transparent hairpins, revealing a face with a deep outline. Her face was small and her eyes were big, which made her look like a doll.

But this doll looked lifeless at the moment, with pale lips, like a dead fish, and allowed her mother to drag her into the clinic. I noticed that the hem of her white gauze skirt was stained with blood, and her calves were also a little purple.

Li Meiling seemed to be very familiar with the master. She said with a smile, "Sorry to bother you so late." Although the master was a little unhappy, he still asked, "What's wrong with the child?"
I actually wanted to tell Master that this child must have encountered something. But Li Meiling looked at me and asked Master if we could talk in private. Master told me to go back to my room and get some sleep, and he would call me if there was anything.

How could I accept that? The utility room was close by and the door was thin, so I leaned against the door and listened in.

Li Meiling said: "Please check it out. The child has been bleeding from below for two days."

The master asked, "Why don't you go to the hospital?"

Li Meiling whispered something, which I couldn’t hear clearly, but Master didn’t ask any more questions.

Later, I heard Li Meiling mumbling that the child had a boyfriend and was disobedient, and she couldn't control it anyway, as long as nothing serious happened. The master said, it can't be like this, having sex too frequently, it hurts the child, and he's still a child.

I felt something was wrong when I heard it. How could a mother say this to her child? If the child really didn't obey and had a boyfriend, and it turned out like this, the mother would rush to the boy's house with a knife. Why would she go to a small clinic to treat her injuries in the middle of the night and hide the facts? I even suspected that Li Meiling was not Xiang Siling's biological mother, and whether she was using the child's body for profit. But from what Master said, Li Meiling had worked in the clinic for many years, and Master even gave her a gift when the child was born.

Full of doubts, I secretly opened the door a crack and saw Li Meiling holding a stack of banknotes and stuffing them into the master's hand, saying, "Don't ask any more questions. Just help the child get well and stop her from bleeding." The master took the money without even trying to refuse.

When they reached the deal, the girl was lying on the bed next to me, keeping her legs propped up for a gynecological examination, her skirt lifted to her waist, her underwear hanging at one ankle. Her arms were like two slender bamboo poles, lying straight on both sides of her body. Her face was blocked by the cabinet, so I couldn't see her expression, but I felt very depressed and uncomfortable.

I sat on my bed feeling a little uneasy. Before this, Sun Yuanan had always been a well-known honest and good doctor. I was introduced to work here. Usually, he was very serious and always said to me, how can a doctor not be rigorous and meticulous? Even if we run a clinic, patients come to you out of trust and convenience. Only if you are dedicated can you do long-term business. I have been following him for more than a year and have learned a lot.

But what happened tonight made me feel like I didn't know him. I seemed to see another person. I saw his true other side after his sanctimonious appearance collapsed.

After they left, Master opened my door and handed me two hundred yuan: "Here, this is from the patient's family."

"I do not want!"

"Why are you arguing? Just take it when I tell you to. Keep your mouth shut and don't tell anyone about the patient's privacy. Do you hear me?"

I was furious and stood up and said, "Master, she is still a child! How could you take money? How could you help them hide it?"

"What else can I do? She's her biological mother. If she doesn't care, how can we? Nowadays, little girls are not rare to rent rooms with others and have affairs. There are small hotels in Chaoyang Garden every day. You can go and see. You will be surprised if you don't see anything unusual!"

"But she looks... looks..."

"She's not too young, she's 15. If she really doesn't like it, her mother didn't tie her hands and feet. Wouldn't she call the police? Well, we are doctors, and our job is to cure illnesses and save lives. Now Xiang Siling is injured, and we cured her and stopped the bleeding. We are doing her a favor. We can't control how she lives."

I couldn't refute Sun Yuanan's words, I just looked at the two red bills he casually threw on the bedside, and felt that they were very eye-catching. For several days, Xiang Siling's big empty eyes kept lingering in my mind.

The next day I asked my master how to record yesterday's equipment consumption and medical expenses into the system, and he said don't record it. I said no, now all inventory is linked to the system, if I don't record it, at the end of the month, the data will not match, which is very troublesome.

Actually, I lied to him. I just made up some data and wrote it into the system, but I didn't want to cover up for them like this. Sun Yuanan didn't understand the system and didn't care. He told me to remember the cold impatiently. I had to record it in the system. That day, Xiang Siling came to the clinic to see a doctor for a cold.

Later, Xiang Siling came to the clinic twice, both times after the clinic closed at night. The master did not ask me to avoid him again. Li Meiling had some complaints, but I don't know what the master said to her, probably saying that I also took the money, so Li Meiling didn't say anything else.

Once, Xiang Siling suffered from unbearable menstrual cramps. After the master examined her, he had no good solution and prescribed painkillers for her.

Another time, she had problems down there, and it was even worse than the first time. I remember clearly that she was wearing a skirt that day, a short yellow skirt that made her skin look very white, and she still had long hair, as if she had just gotten out of bed. Her face was extremely pale, and there was blood between her legs.

Her vagina was stuffed with all kinds of things, including fruits, ping-pong balls, red wine, and even corks. I helped the master and took great pains to clean it up and apply medicine to her.

Actually, I didn’t see many clinics before, and even less gynecology. If it were normal, I would be a little shy and embarrassed when such a beautiful girl lay in front of me without pants. But that day, I didn’t feel that way at all.

I just felt sick, depressed, and uncomfortable. That was also the first time I saw Xiang Siling cry. While my master and I were operating in silence, her mother, for some reason, probably out of sight, out of mind, simply left in the middle of the process. When we were halfway through the operation, I accidentally looked up and saw two lines of tears flowing down that beautiful face. My nose was sore.

I told my master that I would take care of the rest of the application of medicine and bandaging. My master was probably feeling sleepy and tired in the middle of the night, so he went to the back.

We were the only two left in the clinic. I continued to operate, using the most gentle and delicate movements I could. But my tears still blurred my vision. I put down my tools, straightened up, pulled out a tissue, and wiped my tears.

I looked down at her and she looked at me, her eyes still filled with a child's confusion, as if she didn't understand why I was crying.

A child who had just been tortured by a wild beast.

I said, "If that man really liked you, he wouldn't treat you like this. Do you understand?"

She said, "Are you done? I want to go home. I haven't finished my paper yet."

I didn't expect that the last time I saw Xiang Siling was when she came to have an abortion.

But I actually had a premonition - this irresponsible mother and the man who wantonly vented his desires on her would lead to this day sooner or later.

But seeing her lying on the operating table in a daze, and seeing her mother and Sun Yuanan bargaining outside, I still felt it was unreal. Such a slender, tender girl, is there really another life in her belly? And now, I have to remove this obstacle for her with my own hands?
Master actually doesn't like to do curettage and dilation surgery, and hasn't done it for a long time. But this time, the other party gave enough money, and even I got two thousand. Master helped Xiang Siling clean up with delicate techniques, and asked me to finish it as usual.

Li Meiling seemed to have no patience for her daughter. Halfway through such a serious matter as abortion, she went out to make a phone call, and no one knew what she was talking about in the dark.

There were only Xiang Siling and I left in the operating room.

This time, I was calmer than ever before. I didn't cry or get angry. I lowered my voice and asked her, "Are you doing this voluntarily? If not, I'll call the police for you. They'll be here soon. Don't be afraid of your mother."

Her face was as white as paper, but she finally looked at me. I had a feeling that this was the first time she really saw me, her assistant.

She moved her lips and said, "Don't bother me. It has nothing to do with you."

I was anxious, my eyes were hot, and I said, "Have you really thought it through? Don't be afraid, there is always a place for reason in this world!"

She shook her head weakly and stopped talking.

Just like Master said, I don't know what's going on between her and her mother. I don't even know what kind of girl Xiang Siling is. If she doesn't speak, I can't help her.

I had no choice but to continue working in silence.

"Can I see...it?" she asked suddenly.

I was stunned for a moment before I understood what she was talking about. I said hesitantly, "It's better not to watch it."

"I beg you."

I had no choice but to put the food on a plate, handed it to her, and showed it to her. She struggled to sit up, and despite my objection, took it with both hands. She didn't look sad, and after looking at it for a while, she handed it back to me and lay down again.

"Where would you drop it?"

I don't want to answer.

"A trash can?"

I can't deny it.

She added: "I will be 2 in 16 months. It's over 2 months old now, it's amazing."

I felt very sad when I heard that. My nose was sore. I said, "Don't worry. The operation was done very cleanly. In the future...when you grow up and become a woman, you can have children if you want. But you must take care of your body in the future. Don't have sex for one month, no, two months. I will also let Master and your mother emphasize this repeatedly."

She looked at me.

I don't know how to describe that look. The girl's pupils were very, very dark, but they gave me a bone-chilling feeling. Just being stared at by her made me feel cold all over.

She said: "Why do you think I want a child? What if it's a girl? How terrible it would be. What if she becomes a man's toy like me? She might as well be thrown into the trash can."

Today, in the book review section of Q·Q Reading, there is a quick-answer quiz activity similar to last time. The prizes are book coins. Students who are interested can participate.

Please don't block this chapter!