Chapter 121

Li Qingyao was carrying some clean clothes and about to take a shower when someone knocked on the door. She looked through the peephole and opened the door.

Under the bright light in the corridor, Luo Huaizheng looked up at her with a mysterious and complicated look in his eyes.

"Can I come in and sit?"

Li Qingyao didn't move for a moment: "Anything else?"

“For me, it’s very important.”

Li Qingyao said "OK" and took a pair of men's slippers from the shoe cabinet and gave them to him.

"Please sit down first. I'll go get some tea."

"no need."

"It's okay, it will be ready soon. My tea is good." Li Qingyao went to the kitchen to get the tea set.

When Luo Huaizheng walked into the living room, his first impression was that it was simple.

One bedroom and two living rooms, the total area should not exceed 70 square meters. The decoration is very simple, with only a few pieces of furniture. Although the house is tidy and spotless, with simple curtains, cartoon ornaments, and a few flowers in the vase, it is full of the little sentiment of a single woman - but overall, the house still looks very old and simple.

While in prison, Luo Huaizheng had imagined what kind of life Li Qingyao would live after graduating from college. With her ability and personality, in addition to getting a decent job, she would definitely live a refined and comfortable life. She would be like the senior white-collar workers in TV dramas, renting a well-decorated apartment in the city center, wearing brand-name clothes, high heels, light makeup, elegant temperament, and all the people she went in and out were of the same kind.

Instead of being like now, wearing a half-worn white T-shirt and black shorts, living in the most dilapidated and poorest resettlement community in the city, with no elevator, a narrow and old house, with no makeup on all day, exposed to the wind and sun, and he even accidentally saw calluses on her palms these days.

Luo Huaizheng could probably guess why. He had heard about her brother's disappearance before, and he had heard from the people in the second team these days that he disappeared in Chaoyang Home. However, Luo Huaizheng only knew that his brother disappeared because of a case being investigated, and no one would tell him what the case was.

Therefore, a girl who was once the most gentle and delicate now lives in such a hard and rough environment. She is so out of tune with all this, but strangely integrated into it.

Luo Huaizheng looked at the house where she lived and at the figure in the kitchen who was busy making tea. Before knocking on the door, the worries that had filled her mind suddenly faded a little.

In front of what she has to do, in front of the beliefs and emotions she carries, love seems insignificant.

Li Qingyao returned to the living room with the tea table. It was a set of dark grey teapots, delicate and small, which seemed like something she would like. She took two teacups of the same colour, but the size of a tiger's mouth, poured two cups, and placed the first cup in front of him.

"Thank you."

"Try it."

Luo Huaizheng picked it up, blew on it, and took a sip. It was indeed fragrant and sweet, with a slightly mellow taste. This tea must not be cheap. "Good tea." He praised.

Li Qingyao picked up another cup and smiled slightly.

Luo Huaizheng put down his teacup and asked, "Excuse me, how is your brother's case going?"

Li Qingyao shook her head: "Still looking." As the details involved the case, she naturally couldn't say more.

"Although I may not be able to help you much, if you need me in the future, please feel free to ask."

"Okay, thank you."

The two of them were silent for a moment.

The sofa in Li Qingyao's house was relatively low, which was her favorite height for curling up or rolling directly to the ground to sit. Luo Huaizheng looked cramped when he sat on it. He slightly hunched his back, and his long legs stretched to the side of the coffee table. He stared at the tea set on the table and didn't say anything for a while. Li Qingyao also held the teacup and lowered his head to wait.

"In fact, I already have the answer to the question you asked just now." Luo Huaizheng looked up at her, "In my life, I still want to engage in academic research. I started a business before not because I like it, but at that time, I had no other goals except survival, and it was impossible for me to have one. If I can go to Tsinghua University, I will definitely strive to study in depth, complete my undergraduate studies, and then study for a master's and doctoral degree. In the future, if I can stay in a university as a small researcher or lecturer, even if I can't become a great scholar and don't make much money, I will be very happy. I like that kind of life."

Li Qingyao's heart softened when he heard this, and there was a hint of bitterness in his eyes. He said, "That's great, really."

Luo Huaizheng smiled at her, his eyes lingering on her face, as if he wanted to look deep into her soul. He said, "But I'm telling you I haven't made up my mind yet. I really haven't made up my mind yet."

"why?"

He suddenly stopped looking at her and turned his head to stare at the other side, revealing a straight neck line. He said, "In the first few years, I often missed you. Thinking about the time we spent together, although it was short, it was very happy. I have never been so happy in my life. Sometimes I always thought I was dreaming, and when I woke up, I could go back to school, sit next to you, and go to BJ with you. Sometimes, I couldn't bear it anymore, and I hoped every day that you would change your mind and come to see me. If I had your support, I think I would be much better. Because what you mean to me is different from what my parents mean to me, and from other people.

But later, I adapted to prison life, accepted reality, calmed down, and felt that it was right for you not to come. Because it was impossible for us to be together, if you didn't come, you wouldn't give me false hope, and would make me accept reality faster and adapt to a new life, instead of living in a fragile dream. This way, it's good for both you and me. "

Li Qingyao's tears fell without warning.

"I'm sorry." She uttered the three words with great difficulty.

Luo Huaizheng stared at the empty ground, but a smile appeared on his face. It was a truly generous and gentle smile. He said, "You don't have to apologize. I don't blame you. Every word I said was from my heart. If I still wanted to selfishly keep you under such circumstances, would I still be a human being?"

Li Qingyao turned her head and looked at the dark night outside the window. The clouds were very thick tonight, layer upon layer, and no starlight could be seen. However, her heart felt an unprecedented coldness and loneliness.

Luo Huaizheng slowly recounted the past, which was also the real purpose of his coming today. When those words came out of his heart, he seemed to be able to feel his flesh and blood pulsating with vitality.

He reached out and poured himself another cup of tea, drank it in one gulp, put down the cup, clasped his long fingers together, and squeezed them several times before saying, "What I really want to say is that after meeting you again, I can't quite tell whether my feelings for you are love or longing. I always want to see you, but I'm afraid to see you. I'm worried that you're different from before, but I'm also afraid that you're the same as before. Later, I gradually realized that it's not important to distinguish these things. Love in the world has many forms, many causes and results. What's important is, for me, has this love, this longing, ever stopped?"